


Fusions That Should Never Be X: PvT:GW

by DBSommer



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24620890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBSommer/pseuds/DBSommer
Summary: Yet another Fusion That Should Never Be. Attack on Titan with a mystery series.
Kudos: 2





	Fusions That Should Never Be X: PvT:GW

Fusions That Should Never Be X: PVT:GW

As always I do not own the rights to the two sources used in this

I can be contacted at tsommer

All my stuff is stored at and ao3, with the risqué stories only being on Ao3

Haven't done a Fusion That Should Never Be in probably a decade. Time to correct the oversight and make people sorry as they have been in the past. Also this is my first Attack on Titan work, and probably my last if the reactions will be what I suspect.

This takes place before and during the first episode of Attack on Titan. It's a fusion, so be very, very wary.

Seriously, reek of wariness. You have been warned.

Xxxxxxxxx

The meetings of the Council of Wall Maria Affairs, based in Shinganshina tended to be very repetitive. While in theory they were held in the hopes of improving things, all the really did was discuss wall security, food distribution, population control, and how many casualties the Survey Corps suffered. Today's meeting had been no different, until the end.

While everyone was seated at the round table, piles of paper and reports in front of them, Dr. Gaspart cleared his throat. "I think there's something we need to discuss."

Administrator Leopold raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Gaspart hesitated a moment, then picked up a ream of papers in front of him. "Dave's report-."

"Oh come on!" That came from Capt. Kino. "'Crazy Dave' never has anything useful to say. It's why we banned him from the meetings since we didn't want to waste time listening to the loon rant. Now you're badgering us with what he's written.

Leopold nodded. "He still insists on referring to Titans as… zombies since they 'mindlessly shamble around, have no place in the ecological system, and eat people for no reason since they have no nutritional requirements for the Titan. They eat people for fun'." He made a noise of disgust.

Gaspart said, "I agree he's crazy. But sometimes even those a bit unhinged…."

"He bragged about planting a tree under his house, saying, 'what could go wrong?'" Kino's gaze was narrow and angry.

"Which is why I don't try and counter the crazy part," Gaspart said. "But he is knowledgeable and even crazy people raise good points. The Titans have no function in nature. They didn't evolve from anything. They just appeared. It's like their sole purpose is to kill humans, which you'll note, they're great at."

Kino released a tired sigh. "We're researching them already. Where they came from is irrelevant. How to kill them isn't'. And before you ask, no, we are not considering Dave's scheme which alone makes him crazy."

Leopold took charge of the situation. "Let's just not include anything about him anymore in the meetings. We'll let him write and turn in reports and we'll ignore them from now on. That way he can feel like he's contributing while not contributing. Now let's get back on track with long range recon patrols. If Titans have some type of migratory pattern perhaps we can anticipate their attacks…."

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a bright morning on Wall Maria. The sun was shining. The temperature was neither too hot nor too cold. Fairly idyllic except for the 60-meter tall Titan that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It was all flesh and bone with little in the way of skin. It was so hot steam rose from its frame. And, oh yes, it started attacking the gate.

As the opening vestiges of panic set in among the populous as visions of being chewed by Titans danced through their heads, a bizarre noise from beyond the wall pierced the air. It sounded like no Titan, unlike anything heard before. Even the colossal Titan stopped its attack and turned to see what could have generated such a noise.

The watchers bore witness to a sight unlike any ever seen. The creator of the noise looked like a giant sunflower, save the flower portion was larger in proportion to the stem. Its own tremendous height allowed it to stand as high as the waist of the colossal Titan. It possessed its own form of locomotion for it had pulled out monstrous thick roots with which to propel it, akin to legs. Two more slender stems branched off from the main stem like arms, ending in bulb-like projections where hands would be. Perhaps most bizarre was the center of the flower, which looked almost like a face… one a child would draw. It was simply eyes and a mouth, but where none should be.

It had a slow lumbering gait, but its pace was steady as it approached the scene of carnage. The colossal Titan stared at in confusion, displaying far more intelligence than its kindred. It remained motionless, observing.

The plant stopped some 30 meters from the Titan, then sank its 'feet' into the ground. From the way the earth moved it was clearly anchoring itself. It then rose its 'face' to the sky, and it seemed to take on a glow, almost as if it too were drawing upon solar energy as a Titan did. The glow grew increasingly bright. Then the plant pointed its flowered face back at the Titan.

A beam of pure solar energy poured from it, continuous and pulsing. It struck the Titan dead on, and despite a surface temperature so high it gave off steam, it burned. The heat from the pulsing beam was so tremendous it actually melted off the muscle and tissue of the surface of the Titan.

While it drew back in pain from the unexpected nature of the attack, and the effect upon it, the Titan summoned its resolve and walked forward, its stride covering the distance in moments. The beam continued, burning massive amounts of it off and the pain increased, but it fought through it and kicked the plant.

The blow did not send the plant reeling away, but rather tore the roots up through the earth, so it was no longer anchored. The face shook itself, as though recovering from the blow, then brought its arms swinging upward. It struck once, then twice, crushing more tissue and smashing bone. But the more conventional attack and pain was easier for the Titan to fight through, and it struck back with fists. Petals were crushed in the face and the stem showed damage from where the retaliation occurred.

Then new beings entered the fray. Smaller plants with an odd white headband with a red cross on them started rushing toward the sunflower. They moved far more quickly on their 'feet/roots' and rushed to the plant. When they drew close enough, glowing balls of light, like tiny chunks of sunlight, leapt off them. The lights were drawn into the giant sunflower's body. Within seconds some of the damage on the plant was repaired.

Then another player entered the battle. Few noticed it approach. It was only when it was nearly to the dueling pair that anyone realized it was present. It looked like a giant tree stump, nearly as tall as the sunflower, that was as impossibly mobile as the other plants. This one had two arms, one that ended with a hand, the other with a number of cylinders jutting out from where the hand should be. Like the other plants, it had a simple face on it as well.

It gave a might roar, shaking its arms in the air, then aimed the cylinders at the Titan's legs. The tubes smoldered, then belched shots of fire at the giant's appendages. It had an immediate effect as it blasted through the knee joints, blowing off one. Between that and the damage to the other joint, the Titan crashed down, narrowly missing the sunflower with its enormous mass.

The pair continued their assault on the downed goliath. It flailed and struck the pair, but for all the damage its mighty limbs inflicted, nearly half of it was healed by the smaller plant's glowing balls of light. And while the Titan could regenerate as well, it was being worn down far more quickly than it could manage.

And then the sunflower struck the back of the neck, ripping it open. The tree stump inhaled deeply as it moved forward, then belched forth flames that immolated the area. The Titan didn't move again.

And the populous on the walls cheered at their new, unconventional saviors.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Also on the wall observing the activity was a rotund man with a red, scraggily beard and a wild gleam to his eyes. 'Crazy Dave' looked on in approval as his plant army devastated the really big zombie. He had been forced to grow them in secret on his own since his contemporaries had refused to help with the agriculturally oriented defense plan. But it wasn't their fault. They just weren't very bright. He was so much more brilliant than them they thought he was crazy. Why just the other day someone had made fun of the pot on his head, as though it wasn't a wonderful piece of headgear and quite protective.

But he didn't begrudge them of their relatively dim state. He liked humans as well as plants. They weren't zombies… or Titans as the not smart people referred to them. Or cats. Dave couldn't stand them either. They were far too feline for his taste.

Upon looking at the carnage below, and the still mostly intact Wall Maria, this could be called a successful outing. It was clear a new age had dawned in the battle against humanity's would-be devourers. The era of Plants vs. Titans: Garden Warfare, had begun.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

[End fic]

That's right. It's the fusion no one envisioned, asked for, or wanted. Attack on Titan and Plants vs. Zombies.

Go ahead, send the hate mail. I have a pan on my head to deflect all the attacks. Muhahahaha!


End file.
